Day Dreaming Mom

I know for certain that I am not alone when I confess to you that I cried myself to sleep last night from a mommy meltdown. As a mom we are all put through the emotional ringer ALL the time. Whether it’s the tantrums of a two year old; the strong will of a twelve year old, the inability to say no to the needs of others, the lack of gratitude, the “I hate yous!” or the “MOM!!!!!! There’s something gross and slimey on the bathroom floor and I just stepped in it!”. Just blogging this first paragraph I have gotten up to attend to a need three times in five minutes.
Having five children so spread in age pulls me in every direction from wiping butts to screening text messages. Some days I handle it like a Harlem Globe Trotting Mother Teresa, other day’s I channel the wicked witch of the west, somedays I just work on auto pilot and days like this one I cry when no one is looking.

So as I laid in bed last night dreading that I was on the brink of depression, I sat in silence begging God to still me.

 I began to be reminded that I was still allowed to dream. “Dreams?” I thought. I dream of a nap that’s longer than 5 minutes. I dream of nice clothes that aren’t from Walmart. As I sat in my sarcastic close mindedness towards God I kept feeling him pull me out. “You can dream” I sat in silence and repeated inside my head until it reached my heart.

Sounds corny, I know, like the scene from The Wizard of Oz but it’s exactly what I needed to be reminded of.  What kept us going so energetically when we were younger? For me it was my dreams of Broadway and ending world hunger! Now apparently the only world hunger I’m dealing with is the “I’m Starving!” nine year old who just ate 4 pieces of pizza half an hour ago. 

Sarcasm aside, I want to remind all of you drowning moms out there that your dreams are not forgotten. That God has placed those in your heart for a reason. So today I am one step away from resentful mother and one step closer to day dreaming with a grin on my face.

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